As promised…

I arrived just before dark, exhausted and damp from riding through a light mist for the past hour. I had heard that the monks here were especially welcoming and friendly, but I had originally planned to just stop through in the afternoon, take a lunch break and then pass on my way. As fortune would have it, the day was much longer than anticipated, and here I was, arriving at Blue Cloud Abbey at a time more suited for finding shelter for the night.

In my heart I knew I would have to find shelter here at this place, but as I turned off the main highway onto the smaller road that led to the monastery, I was a bit nervous that it might not work out. What other option would I have, though. There was a small town just a few miles further, but there was no promise there either. As I pulled into the parking lot, up to the front entrance, there were no signs of anyone around. The place was quiet, and not a car to be seen. Walking in the front door I noticed a sign to the right of the door that said ‘Peace to all who enter.’ This instilled a bit of comfort. Into the foyer and then the lobby, and still no one to be seen. A car approached outside, and I was hoping they would park in the parking lot just outside, but on it went, down the small road, and to where, I knew not. Well, I figured there had to be someone around, so I might as well explore.

I wandered down a hall of what appeared to be guest rooms. There were signs about retreats at the abbey, so I figured that must have been what those were for. Then I found a staircase going down and explored further. The whole place was completely quiet. I came into a hallway and saw a huge kitchen on one side. Looked like no one was around. As I passed a little further, suddenly there was someone down the hall, walking toward me. Finally, a sign of life. As I said hello and we approached each other, I was feeling a bit apprehensive about asking for a place to stay. I still don’t know why I felt this way. But it didn’t matter; I didn’t even need to ask.

The man introduced himself as Brother Sebastian. I introduced myself as Otis, of course. He asked if that was my bike outside, said that he had seen it as they drove past. He commented that I must be looking for a place to stay. Well, shoot, that was exactly what I was looking for. Instantly Brother Sebastian took me in as if I were his own personal guest. He arranged for me to stay in one of the retreat rooms, a small, modest room equipped with a single bed, desk, sink, shower and toilet. All the amenities. After setting me up with the room, Sebastian asked if I had eaten. I told him I hadn’t eaten any supper yet. Well, down to the kitchen we went.

The kitchen is huge, with all the necessities one would need to prepare just about anything. Brother Sebastian led me into the freezers, which were the large, industrial variety, and began fishing out the leftovers from that nights meal. Ham and fruit and potatoes and vegetables and so much food to eat. Sebastian must have thought I hadn’t eaten in weeks, as he kept suggesting I take more, help myself to more. I don’t like to pass up free food, but I do have to set limits, and I had to kindly let Sebastian know that I had enough. So he nuked the food in the microwave, and we sat down in the dining hall and got to know each other as I stuffed myself with delicious leftovers.

I told Brother Sebastian about myself and my trip, and he shared a bit about himself and the monastery. We talked for a good while as I slowly ate. By the time I was done, it was starting to get late, at least by monastery standards anyway. I was tired, and I could tell he was nearing his bedtime as well. Being the excellent host, Sebastian inquired about anything else I would need and mentioned laundry. It had been about a week since my last washing, so I was due for a load of clean clothes. He showed me where the laundry facilities were, complete will all the necessities- soap and dryer sheets. Then Sebastian left me on my own, letting me know about the schedule for the next morning, inviting me to come to prayer at 6:45 and breakfast afterwards, but also letting me know it wasn’t mandatory or expected. I told him I would try to make it, that I should be up by 6:45.

I was planning on leaving in the morning, after breakfast, so I didn’t waste much time getting my laundry started. Still, I would have to wait for it to complete before I went to bed. So I took a shower and got on the internet. By the time the wash was done, it was after midnight. I was exhausted. As I lay in bed, waiting for sleep to find me, I thought about my plans for the next day. I had set an alarm to wake up early, but I didn’t really want to wake up early. I was tired and wanted to sleep in. I figured I could just see how I felt at the alarm and make a decision then, but I knew I wasn’t going to make it to prayer. Sebastian said I could sleep in as long as I wanted, and I thought that might be a good idea. I also couldn’t help but think that maybe I didn’t want to ride the next day either. Perhaps it would be okay for me to spend another day here at the abbey.

Well, sleep in I did. When I woke up, I felt fairly good, but I still had the idea that maybe I wouldn’t have to ride off that day. I got dressed and found Brother Sebastian. I had missed prayer and breakfast, but he led me to the cereal and fetched me toast, made from freshly baked bread. I had a heaping serving of granola, with toast and jam. We talked some more, and he must have suggested I stay for the day. I can’t remember now exactly how it came about, but I was glad to have the invitation.

That day I sat in on the prayer at 11:30, followed by lunch. After lunch, Sebastian and I set out for a grand tour of the grounds there at the abbey. The place is quite impressive. It sits on a large chunk of land atop a hill overlooking a large portion of northeastern South Dakota. On the land, there are plenty of trees, including apple, peach, and apricot; a large garden supporting all sorts of vegetables and berries; lakes; plenty of pasture land; hermitages; and a camp. We walked around, and Sebastian explained to me the history of the place and what is done with all the land. It was a long and relaxing walk, and it really made me feel good about having taken the day off.

After the walk around the grounds, Sebastian showed me his working quarters in the vestry. Brother Sebastian makes garments for the monks there as well as for priests all over. His work space is quite impressive, with half a dozen industrial Singer machines, huge rolls of all kinds of fabric, and even a big machine just for doing button holes. He showed me some art he had done when he studied in New Mexico, some beautiful stone sculptures and a few paintings. I was very impressed with all his work. I expressed to him my interest in sewing, about my desire to learn the trades of self-sufficiency, like gardening, sewing, metal and wood working, etc.
After all the touring, we were both pretty exhausted and needed some time to rest for ourselves, so we parted ways for a bit. He told me about evening prayer. I decided to skip that and take some time to myself to stretch and take some pictures outside. It was a beautiful evening. After the prayer, Sebastian found me and offered me beer and cheese. After that snack, it was time for dinner, and I sat and ate with all the monks. I guess usually there would be silence as someone reads from a book, but not on Thursdays. After dinner, Brother Sebastian wanted to make sure that I had some food to take with me for my journey ahead. With enthusiasm, he bestowed upon me a loaf of fresh bread, garden-fresh tomatoes and zucchini, fresh fruit, local cheese, granola, and enough nuts and raisins to completely fill a gallon ziplock bag with trail mix. The thing must have weighed 7 pounds. I told him I didn’t even have enough space to fit all the food, but he said he could help me lighten my load and ship some stuff off to Denver that I wouldn’t be needing for now. So with many pounds of extra food, Sebastian left me for the night, and I began packing up a box to ship.

It was pretty tough to figure out what to send. I wanted to slim down as much as possible, eliminate the items I definitely wouldn’t be needing now that summer was almost over. So I packed up my flip-flops, suntan lotion, aloe, one of my t-shirts, and a cotton buttun-down shirt. In the box I also put a blanket that Sebastian had given me. I told him I really liked the design of the fabric, and he said I could have it. I want to use it to make some clothing, but it does me no good to tote it around on my bike. I decided that I should cut down to just one pair of pants. Although my cut-off sweat pants are much more comfortable for riding, my jeans are much more versatile and a bit more practical, so the sweats went in the box. It was a tough call whether to pack my water filter or not. I hadn’t used it yet on the trip; clean drinking water had always been fairly easy to come by, but, I was heading out to the west, where streams and creeks might be more prevalent than civilaztion, so I figured to keep it with me. Other than that, there must have been a few other small things. Obviously they weren’t too important, as I can’t remember them now.

The next morning I slept in until 8 or so, I think. I started packing and Brother Sebastian came and knocked on my door. He wanted to make sure I hadn’t left yet, as he had made something for me. The day before, as he was showing me some of the garments he was in the process of completing, I asked about the difficulties of making a hood, as I had been told that it isn’t too easy. We had talked about it a bit, and he explained the process. Well, to help me out, that morning Sebastian had quickly put together a hood for me from some scraps of fabric he had. I was both impressed and grateful. Sebastian joined me for breakfast, and we talked some more. Then he helped me put together my box to ship and arranged all the shipping for it. I finalized all my packing, stuffing and shoving to make room for all the newly-acquired food. Outside, Brother Sebastian and I exchanged a hug, and he saw me off and wished me well. I gave him all my contact information and we agreed to keep in touch.

My spirits were soaring as I headed down the road, away from Blue Cloud Abbey, but it was still tough leaving the place. Everything about the monastery was fascinating to me. The entire building, as well as the grounds and the view, are so beautiful. The place has an overwhelming atmosphere of peacefulness. And despite being relatively isolated, the abbey has just about anything one might need. There are sleeping quarters, an amazing industrial kitchen, a wood-working shop, a garage for working on cars, a vestry, a huge garden, fruit trees, a lake, and more. They bake their own bread, prepare and can jams and preserves. Everyone there has some practical skill to pass on. It’s the perfect place to relax, to gather one’s thoughts, to meditate, to rest. As I began my day of riding, a thought came to me. Even though I had just left, I was already planning my return. I started formulating an idea about coming back and living and working at the abbey. I am not really interested in signing on to the life of a monk, but I figured they must need help there, that they could always use some young hands to help out. All I would want in return would be a place to sleep, some food, a modest wage to allow me to pay my student loans, and plenty of time for learning. I want to know how to do everything anyone does there. I want to master sewing, wood-working, gardening, canning, baking, everything. What a storehouse of knowledge! All of the monks are getting up there in age, probably eager to pass on what they know. I could be the pupil they desire. And what a setting to think and create, to focus on artistic endeavors. What a great place to live and write a book, to collect all my thoughts and memories and pictures and put his journey together into a real book, once it is all said and done. Oh, the possibilities in my mind seemed endless, and the excitement was a bit overwhelming. But, I kept my senses, realizing that this choice was not really up to me, but mostly up to the monks at Blue Cloud, whether they would be willing to take me on in that fashion. I decided it would be best to really brood over the idea before discussing it with anyone there, before letting Brother Sebastian know my idea. All day I couldn’t help but think about it.

Now, weeks later, the idea is still in my head. I don’t think about it with such fervor as I did that day, but I have expressed my idea to Brother Sebastian. He supports it and has offered some suggestions for ways to go about facilitating this kind of stay. He sent me information on the associate program, which lets lay people, whether interested in eventually taking vows or not, get an idea of the life of a monk. Associates follow the routines and practices of the monks, assimilate into daily life at the monastery. I’ll admit I’m not too terribly keen on that idea. I have the utmost respect for what they do, but I don’t want to pretend to ascribe to a set of beliefs that my heart is not completely into. That’s not right for me and not doing justice to them or their program. I would rather take on work to earn my keep there. I am willing to take on just about any job, so long as it allows me time to learn and write. As of yet, I haven’t taken any further action with this. I haven’t contacted any of the other monks or discussed the idea with the abbot. I suppose I’m still working it all out in my mind and taking in my other options as well. No matter what comes of this, however, I do plan on returning there in the near future at least for a visit. And whatever may come, I am very pleased to have gained from this fortuitous stop a very good friend in Brother Sebastian. We keep in contact regularly, and he continues to bestow help in whatever forms he can, including more trail mix and granola. What was forecast as a quick break in the middle of the day became a two-night stay and one of the most fulfilling stops on my journey thus far. Looking back, it still seems a bit surreal. And of course I must thank Pastor Tom in Milan for recommending the place. Had he not made mention of Blue Cloud, I am positive there is no way I would have ever stumbled upon the abbey.

That brings me to something I have been thinking much about lately. Some people say that everything happens for a reason. Personally, I can’t say I hold that belief. I think one can find meaning and find a lesson in nearly anything that happens, though, and I think that’s more important. Whatever force is bringing all of our life events about, for whatever purpose fortuitous coincidences such as this occur, I don’t think anyone can really understand. But with each turn of fortune and fate, each of us has the ability to assess our experiences in order to learn and grow. I couldn’t say for sure whether this wonderful stay was facilitated by a higher power or was complete happenstance. Either way, I don’t think it really matters. What is important is that it did happen. New people, new places, and new ideas were introduced, and I have the ability and freedom to make of them whatever I choose. That is the nature of all of our experiences, both the mundane and the awesome. That’s how I try to live my life, anyway. Every event in my life, for better or worse, has shaped who I am. I may not have control over much of the events themselves, but I do have the ability to decide what I will take from each experience. And these days, as much as I possibly can, I try hard to extract the positive from every moment, especially on a journey like this. I’m not always successful, but I’m trying.