I have been fortunate and grateful to have meet and spent time with some really great people so far on this trip. So many planned and unplanned encounters have kept my spirits high and a smile on my face. At the same time, lately I have been longing for some alone time, which is funny, considering that I spend hours a day alone on my bike. But I have wanted to spend a night alone, to camp and cook my food and live a bit more simply, if only for a night or two. It can be exhausting spending so much time with people you have just met, no matter how friendly they are.

So yesterday I decided that I was going to camp somewhere by myself, no matter what. Before I left Durham, though, Kevin and Kathy Jo were so kind and took me out to breakfast. Then they gave me a bicycle tour of the city and even rode with me a bit of the way out of town on their tandem. It was a wonderful end to such a great stay with them. Thank you for that. After they had to turn around due to an unfortunate flat tire, I set off on my own, continuing to the east. At first my spirits were high, passing forests and lakes, with a blue sky and puffy clouds. After a few hours, when I took my first break to eat some lunch, exhaustion set in. I knew it was coming, and I think that was why I took so long to take a break. I knew that as soon as I stopped pedaling, I wouldn’t want to start up again.

By this point I was going through some tiny little towns that weren’t too comforting to be in. I forced myself on, much slower than before. Even before this physical exhaustion set in, before I stopped, a mental tiredness had taken over me. My mood had sunk, and I was feeling down, but I couldn’t figure out why. The sky was still blue, the weather nice, but a mixed feeling of anger and sadness had come over me. I figured I would just pedal it out. At one point I started writing a poem, and that worked to cheer me up for a while. I would just write a bit at a time and say it out loud as I rode.

Ped’ling out on my bike one day,

stroke by stroke I made my way,

past forest pines and kudzu vines

and asked a cloud to come and play.

but as the cloud was saying ‘hi’,

a butterfly had caught my eye.

she swooped and swirled, danced and twirled

and gave a wink as she passed by

i thought to stop and dance along

take a minute, learn her song

forgetting the cloud, i sang out loud,

never thinking it was wrong

That’s as far as I got, then i got a bit sad again and lost my drive to continue composing. This mood stayed with me the rest of the ride, as I made my way down the highway looking for a place to spend the night. It took me a while to find a place to set up camp, as I seem to be pretty particular about where I stop. I would rather not pay, so I generally avoid campgrounds, not that I passed any lately. I like to have a nice wooded area with plenty of cover from the surrounding civilization but without being too dense with trees and brush. I probably passed a dozen spots that would have worked fine, but I didn’t feel like stopping yet. Finally I came upon a spot that is going to become a subdivision. The streets are already paved, but none of the lots have been cleared yet. I figured that would be ideal. Unfortunately, most of the lots were full of dense brush and tons of poison ivy. The two lots that were not like this had an eerie vibe to them. Most of the underbrush was thorny, and lots of it was dead. It looked as if maybe a fire had run through there a while ago. It would have to work.

I set up my hammock and started cooking my rice out on the street. The sun was just setting, but I had plenty of light to cook and clean up by. After all that, I decided I would just go to bed with the sun around 9:30 and try to get some good sleep. Sleep didn’t come too easily, however. It was still beastly hot outside and so humid. I think I was awake for about an hour before dozing in and out of sleep for a while. Sometime around 1am I was awoken to the sound of a police radio. On the street I was camped off of, about 200 yards from me, there was what looked like an unmarked cop car with the driver door open and a man standing between the door and the car. There were a few street lamps on the street already, so I could make all that out okay, but I wasn’t sure if he could see me through all the shadows in the trees. I also didn’t know if his reason for being there had anything to do with me. I didn’t want to chance anything, and I didn’t want to have to fully wake up or get out of my hammock, so I lay as still as possible and hoped he would leave soon. He left about 15 or 20 minutes after I first noticed him, and I went back to sleep.

I awoke this morning around 8 to the sound of traffic on the highway. I didn’t want to get up, but I had to go to the bathroom, and it was already getting really warm again. I did my duty and started packing up. I tell you, I did not wake up in a good mood. Everything was setting me off. Spiders had taken over my bags and bike, and they were stubborn. Now I have pretty much gotten over my fear of spiders, but for some reason these things had me freaked out. Most of them were just daddy long-legs, which have never really bothered my, but there were a few that were huge- like 1″ long body and a 3″ or so leg-span. They weren’t aggressive at all; I just wasn’t in the mood to deal with them. There were tons of other bugs as well. I pressed on, just thinking about getting everything together so I could get the hell out of this creepy place.

Once I got everything out on to the street, I took my time a bit packing up, trying to consolidate some things and leaving a few articles of clothing behind that I don’t need. I’m finally to the point where I can start dropping items that are just weighing me down and taking up space. Still, I was anxious and in a terrible mood. Funny enough, I just didn’t want to be alone this morning. I looked forward to that so much the day before. As I packed up, I was still getting frustrated over the number of bugs and pests around. They were really doing a number on my nerves. At one point I stood up, possibly to move something or grab something, looked down and saw a bug on my calf. I reached down and tried to brush it off quickly. It didn’t budge. I tried again, a little frantic. No dice. This thing was on there. Shit! No mistaking what this bugger was: a tick, and it had already sunk it’s damn little head into me. Luckily I was a cub scout when I was younger, growing up in Tennessee, where ticks are always present, so I knew what to do about it. I scrambled into my just-packed bags for my matches. I pushed the sleeve open, pulled one out and struck it against the side. It fired up right away, unlike last night, when it took me about 5 matches to finally get one to light. I blew it out and touched the hot match head to the rear end of the tick. He backed his little head out of my leg in a hurry, and I quickly flicked him off my leg. The thing wasn’t really bloated, so I figure he mustn’t have been in there long, but he definitely got started, because there was a bit of blood where he came out. Another thing I was taught from scouts or somewhere when I was younger, is that ticks can be carriers of lyme disease, an infection that can have mild to serious effects. I have been told that you should try to preserve the tick in alcohol and have it tested for lyme disease. Luckily I just happen to carry alcohol with me for my stove. So again I scrambled to find my flask of Everclear and one of my small plastic containers to put some in. I poured a bit and got the tick to crawl onto the match and tossed it into the small bottle of alcohol. Once I get to Virginia Beach I think I’m going to see what I can do about getting tested.

Having that bugger burrowed into my skin did nothing to help my already jittery nerves. I felt so violated by that little thing. I started freaking out and checking my whole body for more ticks. Not a good feeling. Finally I decided I just needed to get the hell out of there and back on the bike. I packed up the rest quickly and mounted the bags on the bike and set out.

Now it’s a few hours later. I’ve biked into the next decent sized town, Rocky Mount, and I’m sitting in the entrance to their library. I’ve calmed down a bit, but my nerves still feel a bit fragile, and writing about the tick again has stirred me up a bit. I’m trying to keep myself calm and move past this morning and last night, but the foreboding gray sky is not helping my mood. Plus, this town isn’t so nice. It has an almost deserted feeling, and it doesn’t feel safe. I’m keeping a close eye on my bike, just outside the entrance, as I write all this. I need a friend.

Now I’m gonna set back out and ride some more. Hopefully the exercise will help calm me down. I need to do some breathing exercises and try to meditate. Hopefully these clouds don’t follow through with their apparent intentions.